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When survival looks like surrender

 The Backstory


Keerthi’s marriage didn’t start with violence.

It started with small adjustments.


He was particular. Short-tempered sometimes.

The first outburst came with an apology, so she let it go.


But it didn’t stay rare.


The anger returned—more often, more unpredictable.

First words, then silence, then one day… a tight grip on her wrist that left a mark.


He said sorry.

He said she made him angry.


And slowly, she started believing it.


She learned to stay quiet, to avoid triggers, to keep the peace.


When she became pregnant, things seemed better for a while.

She held onto that hope.


But after the child was born, the same pattern returned.


Only now, leaving wasn’t simple.


She thought about society—the whispers, the blame.

She thought about money—his stability, the child’s future.

Most of all, she thought about her child growing up with “security.”


So she stayed.


Not because she didn’t see the harm—

but because she believed she could bear it.


The injuries became explanations.

Excuses. Silence.


Each time telling herself: this is for my child.


Until one day, she sat in a hospital,

not questioning what was happening—

but how much of it she was willing to continue enduring.




The scene 


Today, the hospital felt heavier than usual.


Not because of the rush. Not because of the cases.

But because of what people choose to live with… and how quietly they carry it.


Her name was Keerthi.


Recently married. Soft voice. Careful words.

The kind of patient who answers exactly what is asked—nothing more, nothing less.


The injuries didn’t match the story.


They rarely do.


I didn’t speak to her directly for long, but I didn’t need to. The silences said enough. The way she avoided eye contact. The way her hands stayed folded, almost like she was apologizing for taking up space.


Later, near the nurses’ station, I overheard fragments of her conversation with the doctor.


She doesn’t want to file a complaint.


Not because she doesn’t know what’s happening.

But because she knows exactly what it would cost.


Marriage, for her, isn’t just about leaving a man.

It’s about leaving an entire structure—family expectations, social approval, financial security.


He earns well. That mattered.


Not in a superficial way.

In a survival way.


She said starting over felt harder than staying.


And then came the part that stayed with me.


The child.


Not present in the room.

But present in every decision she made.


She wants the marriage to “work” for the child.

Because stability, in her mind, is measured by education, by opportunity, by what the child can become someday.


But I keep wondering—

what about what the child sees today?


What version of love are they learning?


The doctor didn’t force her. Didn’t push legal action.

Just asked one question:


“If your child grows up watching this… what will they believe love looks like?”


And for the first time, Keerthi didn’t have an answer.


She cried.


Not loudly. Not dramatically.

Just enough to show that somewhere beneath all that reasoning… there was conflict.


I don’t think she’s weak.


I think she’s calculating survival in a system that doesn’t make leaving easy.


But I also think…

sometimes we confuse endurance with strength.


And sometimes, we place hope on children—

hoping they will justify the sacrifices we’re not sure about ourselves.


I walked out of the OPD today realizing something uncomfortable:


Not all patients come looking for solutions.


Some come looking for permission…

to stay, to leave, or simply to not decide yet.


And maybe being a good doctor—or even just a witness—

means learning how to sit with that uncertainty without trying to fix it too quickly.


I don’t know what Keerthi will choose.


But I hope, someday, her definition of “what works”

includes her safety too.


I also hope that these bruises become scars—Not wounds that keep bleeding....

Comments

  1. What you wrote captures that quiet in-between feeling really honestly, like the kind of emotional residue people carry when nothing fully ends but nothing really stays the same either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou really this means a lot to me🥰

      Delete

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