The Backstory
Before I Started Noticing
I didn’t always think something was wrong.
In the beginning, they were easy to like.
The kind of couple that made ordinary days feel a little cinematic. He’d show up with coffee she didn’t ask for but always wanted. He remembered small things—offhand comments, random preferences—and brought them back at the right time like they mattered.
And she… she looked happy.
Not performative happy. Not the kind you question.
Just… lighter.
Back then, I thought that was what people meant when they said “you’ll know when it’s right.”
Because everything about them felt certain.
Effortless.
If anything, I thought she got lucky.
We all did.
Watching them felt like proof that something uncomplicated still existed.
I remember the first time someone called them “perfect.”
We laughed.
Not because it was wrong—
but because it sounded obvious.
He was always around.
Not in a suffocating way.
Just… present.
Everywhere.
Classes. Cafeteria. Library.
At first, it felt like coincidence.
Then like effort.
Then like care.
He noticed everything about her.
The way her mood shifted.
The people she spoke to.
The things she didn’t say out loud.
It felt intimate.
Like he saw her in a way most people didn't
And she responded to that.
Anyone would.
There’s something powerful about being understood that deeply.
Or at least—
feeling like you are.
And maybe that’s where it begins.
Not with control.
Not with discomfort.
But with attention.
A kind that feels rare enough to hold onto.
Because no one questions something that feels good in the beginning.
No one stops to ask why it feels that good.
By the time I started noticing the patterns—
the pauses, the apologies, the small adjustments—
they were already them.
Already admired.
Already something people pointed at and said, “I want that.”
And maybe that’s why it took me so long.
Because nothing about it started wrong.
It started soft.
Thoughtful.
Careful.
Like something built with intention.
And the thing about that kind of beginning is—
you don’t notice what it’s becoming
until it already looks like something worth protecting.
The scene
The cafeteria is loud enough to hide things.
Trays clatter. People shout across tables. Someone’s laughing too hard at something that isn’t that funny.
And in the middle of all of it—
them.
“They’re so cute,” someone says, nudging their friend.
Of course they are.
He walks in and spots her immediately. Always does.
Doesn’t slow down, doesn’t hesitate—just comes straight to where she’s sitting, even if she’s in the middle of a conversation.
He doesn’t interrupt.
He just… arrives.
She notices in seconds.
Her sentence trails off.
“Wait—” she says to the person across from her, already turning.
“Hi,” he smiles.
Soft. Warm. Like he’s been waiting longer than he actually has.
“You came,” she says.
“I said I would.”
It’s a simple line.
It still lands like something she was supposed to remember.
She shifts, makes space for him.
The other conversation dissolves without anyone acknowledging it.
He doesn’t apologize.
Why would he?
He didn’t interrupt.
He just stood there long enough for the moment to rearrange itself around him.
I watch her adjust.
It’s quick now.
Automatic.
He doesn’t really talk to anyone else.
Keeps conversations short. Polite. Distant.
Always circling back to her.
“Sorry,” he’ll say lightly to someone, glancing at her,
“she was saying something.”
Even when she wasn’t.
It sounds respectful.
Devoted.
And somehow—
it makes her look like the one taking up all his attention.
Like she asked for it.
People notice that too.
Just differently.
“He’s so loyal.”
“Rare these days.”
A joke. A glance. A tone that lingers a second longer than it should.
She laughs along.
But her shoulders pull in just a little.
He leans back when she talks to someone else.
Doesn’t interrupt this time.
Just watches.
No irritation.
No impatience.
Just enough silence
for her to feel it.
And eventually—
she turns back.
Cuts herself off mid-sentence.
“Sorry,” she says quickly.
He smiles.
Like nothing happened.
Like he didn’t just wait her into that apology.
From the outside, he’s the softer one.
The calmer one.
The understanding one.
The kind people trust in a story.
If anything ever went wrong, I already know how it would sound.
Not loud.
Not angry.
Just quiet disappointment.
“I do so much for us.”
And then a list.
All the things he chose to do.
All the ways he adjusted.
All the things she never asked for—
but would somehow have to answer for.
Not as gifts.
But as debts.
Maybe he doesn’t plan it like that.
Maybe he doesn’t even realize it.
But there’s a pattern.
He gives.
He waits.
He watches.
And somewhere in between,
she learns when to respond.
“They’re soo cute..,” someone says again.
I look at them.
At how easily he reaches for her hand.
At how naturally she gives it.
And I wonder—
how long it takes
for something that looks like care
to turn into something you have to keep up with.
Because he never demands.
He just makes sure
she gets there on her own.
And by the time she realizes—
it was never her choice to begin with.
That’s when it stops looking gentle…
and starts looking like control.
Is this you in this story...
ReplyDeleteI write from the narrator's perspective the story is not always supposed to be mine..
Deleteit’s trying to sound deep, but real healthy relationships don’t need mystery or paranoia, just consistency, respect, and the ability to not turn normal affection into a conspiracy theory.
ReplyDeleteI am just trying to show how love bombing is a toxic behaviour....
DeleteWow that really hit home! Thank you for that! It’s like you wrote that for me and what I’m going through.
ReplyDeleteYour welcome and hopefully you get out of that toxic pattern darling 🫂
Delete